Expectations

“Did your life just happen to you, or did you choose it? And if you can’t tell, does it matter?” – Westworld Season 3, Episode 6, Suzanne Wrubel and Lisa Joy.

Most of our self image is what people expect us to be. I mean, if people didn’t assume that I was one way inclined, then perhaps I wouldn’t act as such. However, that’s not to say that you can’t defy expectations because what does anyone else know?

I’ve been told that I’m an observer, a wind-up merchant and a general fuckup but if that’s what people expect then perhaps I should make the effort to be the opposite? I’ve been told that I put into words what others are unable and that to keep writing is the biggest gift I have to bestow on the world, all whilst being told that I’ll amount to nothing and that I’m a talentless hack that’s winging it. I no longer care who has the expectation of who I should be because the only persons expectations I should be concerned with are my own.

I have not considered the ramifications of giving anyone the time of day that doesn’t deserve it. Just because someone sees you one way, it doesn’t mean you have to be that way. Defy expectations, go out of your way to prove people wrong because at the end of the day the only expectations you have to live up to are your own.

“I’m sorry”  it’s a simple sentence. 7 letters, 2 words but what does it mean? For some an empty apology just rolls of the tongue and for others it’s as if the admittance of any wrong doing is nearly impossible. It’s not admissible or even a possibility. Seven single letters and two simple words that can change you’re entire perspective over night. How do we decide when to believe them? When do we decide that it’s enough to just hear those two little words?

When you’re in a crowded room and feel like a stranger, it doesn’t matter who’s sat round the table because if you don’t feel like you belong, the seat isn’t for you. Do you ever feel like if you were there or if you weren’t the conversation would continue? Or if you you weren’t there nothing would be added? You can take all the photographs out want to paint a picture of how you want people to see you but that doesn’t make it true. Sometimes, you’ll always be an outsider

Does that mean you should apologise for who you are? authentically and organically?