The House

“You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it.” ― Alan Moore, V for Vendetta

Have you ever been lost? At some point in your journey you took a wrong turn or were misdirected and now you have no idea where you are so you frantically look for signs or strangers that would be willing to send you the right way and get you to your destination. If you were lucky, you weren’t lost for very long and you got home safe eventually and the whole experience was just a funny story you told to everyone you met that day.

Have you ever felt lost even though you know exactly where you’re going? You’re walking along the street and you’ve mapped out every turn, all the best traffic lights to cross at because they change the second you press the button and you know all the best times of day to take each street depending on how many people you can deal with yet some how, you still have no idea where you’re going? It’s that same frantic panicked feeling deep in your chest accompanied by the numbness in your head. Being lost within yourself can sometimes feel worse however because there isn’t a right or wrong answer.

The saying goes that when God closes a door, he opens a window. However this house is on fire and the windows are locked and it’s located in the middle of a dark forest that’s going to burn down just as easily. I’ve said previously that nobodies watching you so you may as well just do what you want but that’s not entirely true. People do watch to an extent and their houses will burn down with yours if you let them.

However, nobody said God kept the door locked. Sometimes there is only one way, only one path forward and to do that you have to keep the door open. Nobody wants to crawl through the window like a kidnap victim or burglar of your own life, it’s simply not helpful.

I’ve found honesty is like opening a door you can’t lock up again. The most effective key. Once you’ve told the truth, once you’ve realised your own truth and opened that door to everyone around you it’s impossible to lock it back up. The truth may not necessarily always stay as the truth it can change as can secrets. For example hundreds of years ago it was true that the world was flat and before that it was true that extinction was a myth because God wouldn’t destroy his own creations. So with that in mind it may be true that I’m suffering with depression and other mental health issues. It’s true that I have a severe drinking problem. But that doesn’t mean it’ll always be true.

Owning up to when you’ve done wrong or simply allowing people to know the truth can keep that door open and let everyone around you help put out that fire. Own the house you live in.