There’s a lot to be said for those who are truly alone. Learning to actually be alone is something that takes time, it’s a skill almost. Learning to be truly comfortable in ones own company is something that some of us never master. So what if we never learn how to be alone? What are we meant to do other than constantly seek out someone else?
A year ago I had never considered life by myself, I was awarded the luxury of never having to be. For the first 20 years of my life I constantly had people that would feed me approval and give me the ego boost, whether they were friends or lovers. It continues to this day, I’m still not alone. It’s all my own doing and I’m aware of that; I’ve never learned to be alone therefore I seek out the company of others. How many of us prefer being with people as opposed to being alone?
It’s the people we see day to day completely comfortable in their own skin, caring for themselves and not worrying what others think. They have family, they have lovers but they don’t define them. They don’t have to surround themselves with people to feel something but they do anyway.
I felt alone before I was surrounded by people, being alone just amplified this. Living alone, being truly alone gave the inner Me that chance to win. Why bother with something that’s not good just because it’s something? It was a case of being with people for the sake of being with them and still I seek out people that provide this.
There’s a moment, there’s always a moment, where you’re truly alone and you can appreciate the sunset or a good film or even a conversation with a stranger. In those moments we find ourselves, we learn that being alone and being lonely are different feelings altogether. When we’re alone we rely on ourselves, we think and we consider and we find tasks to fill our time. However when we’re lonely we seek attention from people, we listen to like minded music or read books. Some of us even go to the extreme of finding other people that may be lonely and provide company, it’s part of the distraction.
In that moment we decide wether or not we’re going to stay alone, if we’re going to be lonely or we’re going to allow others in for the sake of being around someone. There’s a gift when one learns to be alone, when you wake up and there’s no one on your mind. When you think of no one but yourself and you are your main priority; that’s when you’ve learnt to be alone. It’s a small moment, it takes a few seconds to realise where you stand but once you realise you’re alone, there’s no better feeling.
You can sit, by yourself, in a coffee shop or at work and you know that you’re ok, you know that you feel content, there is no one else that can provide that feeling besides yourself.