People lose things, they just do. It happens throughout the day and throughout our lives without question. Whether that be our phones or wallets or sense of self, on a daily basis, people lose things.
We’ve all felt our hearts drop when we reach for something in our pockets that isn’t there; it’s like walking up the stairs in the dark and assuming there’s an extra step. As your foot falls so does your stomach and that feeling of loss becomes all too real. It’s like crossing the street and not realising a car is speeding towards you, you stop in the headlights and you can feel your stomach somersault. When you lose it’s the same feeling.
I’m speaking strictly material of course, but what happens when we lose something more personal? What do we do when we lose something that can’t be replaced or something that doesn’t sit in our pockets?
People lose things but they also lose people, they lose emotion or respect or even themselves. Waking up and realising you’ve lost yourself gives you the same sense of stomach dropping, heart stopping loss that reaching for the wallet in your pocket does. In the same way reaching for someone that isn’t there any more does.
When the day arrives that you realise a person is no longer there, you experience the same sense of loss you would have and in some ways you wish it were as easy as losing a phone. There are many factors to losing a person; they can chose to go or they can be taken. You can push them away and cause them to become lost or you yourself can just become lost in everything you were once so sure of, causing other people to lose you. All of a sudden your foot is falling through the dark again, you’re crossing the street, your heart is pounding and you’re left with the realisation that someone just isn’t there. You’ve lost them, you’ve lost it and everything.
You reach out and they don’t acknowledge you, you fall and they don’t catch you like they used to and they definitely don’t give you the time of day. Losing people is hard but in the same way that your foot falls and reaches ground or the car doesn’t hit you, you’ll feel that sense of relief eventually.
When you lose yourself, your motive or sense of being it can be harder to consider the reasons why you’re perhaps doing the things you are. Waking up becomes difficult and you wish that you hadn’t because being asleep is easier. When you lose yourself it isn’t as easy as reaching the ground or asking someone to help you find it, no one knows where it’s gone or where you last saw it, it’s just gone. Before you know it it’s difficult to make breakfast or to listen to music or go to work because you’ve just lost that light that everyone talks about when they meet you.
In the same way that you find your phone after panicking or your feet finally find the ground, so can you. You can find yourself again in little things you do every. You can find yourself in the spontaneous karaoke sessions with your best friend or find yourself in a family meal. You find yourself in everyone that smiles at you whether that be a cashier or a stranger on the street. You can find yourself in the good deeds you do every day or in the family you have around you but you are there.
By all means lose yourself, but lose yourself in a song or a conversation that you’re passionate about. Lose yourself in a musical or a film that you connect with and don’t be afraid to feel it all. Lose yourself but be ready to pick yourself straight back up and continue on.